Podcast 4 | Akash Verma on his creative side, relationships & multitasking | Part 1 (Video)

 

Hi Friends, it has been my dream to talk with great personalities and learn from it since last decade. I had many personal interactions with authors and other such personalities. But recently after knowing that something which was in mind has already taken shape in the digital world called as Podcast, I thought of starting the same with some great people whom I can bring on my platform and learn something from them and make it accessible with all of you, so that along with me, all of us can learn together.

 

In this Podcast, Akash Verma speaks on his books, his view on relationships, multi-tasking and his opinion on being too workaholic…

______________________________________________________________

 

Akash Verma is the co-founder of a fashion startup centered around Indian designs - www.chokore.com, and a national bestselling author. Akash has 24+ years of experience in FMCG and Media at senior levels with Coca-Cola, Red FM, Big FM, and TOI. Akash’s work has taken him across the world, and he finds this experience very relevant while giving shape to his stories. Akash practices Buddhism as a life philosophy and loves Travel, History, Cinema, and Music.

Akash Verma is a renowned thriller author and has authored six books till now. National media have covered him in publications such as The Pioneer, The Times of India, The Hindustan Times, Financial World, The New Indian Express, The Hindu, and The Week to name a few. He has also appeared at renowned literature fests and interviews. His publisher is Penguin Random House, India.

 

Akash is a Science Graduate and holds a PGDBM degree. He is based out of Gurgaon. Akash’s parents are eminent and awarded Hindi writers.

 

Website : www.akash-verma.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Akash-Verma-...

Twitter: https://twitter.com/akashvermanow

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/akash_verma...

 

__________________________________________________________

 

Purchase Akash Verma's books from Amazon: https://amzn.to/3CwkeJp

 

__________________________________________________________

 

Follow me on:-

 

My Blog:- http://www.writingbuddha.com/

 

Instagram:- https://www.instagram.com/writingbuddha/

 

Twitter:- https://twitter.com/WritingBuddha

 

Facebook:- https://www.facebook.com/WritingBuddha/

 

Youtube:- https://www.youtube.com/WritingBuddha/

Douglas Misquita: "As an author you have to take bold steps..." (Interview)

 

I recently read a very amazing book named “Trigger Point” written by a very amazing author, Douglas Misquita. I was amazed reading the kind of information and knowledge the book had along with the story that the author was telling. It was a long book but kept me really intrigued into it. After finishing the book, when I searched about the author, I got to know that he has written many other books too. When I read about all of them, I made my mind that I need to interview and cover him on this space. Hence, the interview is posted below for all of you to read and know about him and his books.

 

Hi Douglas, can you please clarify if this is your real name or pen name as I got many questions from my Blog readers. :-)

It is my real name. Another surprise: I'm Indian. I was once asked to pay the 'foreigner' fee at the Kutb Minar until I convinced the guard I'm Indian by producing my driver's license :)

Tell us something about what you do when you are not writing.

Um. When I'm not writing, I'm a software product owner with a telecom company. And then, occasionally, I pick up my guitar, get on stage and jam to some ole rock n' roll tunes.

When was the 1st time that you felt you wish to be a Writer and when did you publish your 1st book?

Diwali, 1993. I'd just read Michael Crichton's Jurassic Park. And I thought: Man, that's power - to transport readers, even if for a few hours, into a world of your imagination. I wrote my first book on a 100-page school exercise book. I published in 2010 with Haunted - a Kirk Ingram action thriller.

Tell us something about your latest book - Trigger Point

Trigger Point is the culmination (for now) of Luc Fortesque's adventures. It brings things to a head. It sees the transformation of the 'bad-guy' Luc Fortesque and it's wildly explosive. It deals with religious terrorism and yet it isn't your usual terrorism book. There's a big twist and it has one of my favourite-ever action sequences - imagine a pair of black-clad priests racing superbikes through the twisting streets of Rome! It also allowed me to bring to page my 'biohazard' scenario and no, this isn't fantasy. This is real. It's as real as zombies can get! 

How long did it take you to write this book? 

4 months. Another 2 to edit.

From where did you drive inspiration to write this book as it has multiple things going all around right from the 1st page to the last?

the inspiration came one morning as I was driving to work. By the end of The Immortality Trigger (book #2 in the series), I'd left Luc Fortesque with unfinished business. I imagined he'd have to travel all the way to Germany to fulfil the promise he made to Sabina Wytchoff. And then I thought: but hey, he's got the secret of the Apocalypse and Immortality. You think the world's just gonna let him go wherever he wants? And then I visualised Fortesque on a desolate landscape with several special forces teams coming for him. And that, really was the crux. I wanted this one BIG action scene and everything just fell around it, into place. 

How hard it was to research on this book as it covers multiple countries and their respective socio-economics and other factors?

As you've read the Author's Notes, you know I did read/ research a lot. It wasn't hard; I found it exciting that there was so much happening in the world that I could easily pull into my book. Research is part of an author's job and I ensure my readers are educated and entertained. If that resonated with you, then it's mission accomplished.

How difficult was it to put your words when you were writing about religions such as Islam or Christianity as we know people get hurt very easily these days?

I told one of my beta readers: this is the most nervous I have been. I read and re-read those chapters and tempered my language best as I could. There's even a disclaimer. Eventually, there's just so much I can water down beyond which I've lost the crux of the story. A reader can spot if the author is holding back his / her punches. As an author you have to take bold steps, you have to mature, and you have to balance all of that with your readers' perceptions. I think I've managed it, don't you? In fact, don't you feel that the twist in the plot informs readers that I mean no offense? What's in the book is a reflection of real world religion-politics.

How soon are we going to read the next book in the "A Luc FortesqueAdventure"?

Not for a while. I've got a Escape Book#2 due out end 2021/ start 2022. Then there's my long anticipated 'Indian hero' series which I'm very excited about.

Any words for your readers who have been inspiring you to write since your 1st book.

Thank you, really, for sticking around and giving me the opportunity to entertain you again and again. Your loyalty is something I don't take lightly and you can trust that I'm always striving to outbeat the previous book. Thank you. Again!

 

PURCHASE THE BOOK HERE

Bindu Tandon: "I had to keep a writing schedule, a place at my desk, a few mantras and the bell off.." (Interview)

 

As I wrote in one of my reviews recently that I don’t generally pick short stories or anthologies because I find it hard to connect with them but I keep trying one or the other books occasionally in order to see if any author has written a book capable of keeping me intriguing with the stories and concepts. I found one such books recently named “Of Beasts and Beauty” written by the authoress, Bindu. I really liked it and thought of knowing author’s perspective in order to understand what she thinks while writing such stories which are so different from each other. So, please go through the short interview I had with her just 2 days back….

 

Hi Bindu, so how do you feel now after becoming a published author finally?

Thrilled at making it. Nervous at fitting in! No longer am I a dilettante, playing with words and stories. I will be assessed. I will be required to answer questions from readers and critics.

Tell us something about since when you started writing and the first time, the thought occurred to you for writing a book.

I have an unfinished, mostly finished book lying in a bottom drawer. I wrote that a little over a decade back.

 

Please let us know about your anthology- "Of Beasts & Beauty".

The collection occurred in the spaces between writing the 18 chapters of my book. These 13 stories have overtaken the original conception and are my passport to completion and publication (hopefully) of the book. They are complete in themselves and owe nothing to my book. The learning from writing these stories will make my book a better book.

 

Why did you think of writing Short Stories and not a full-fledged novel?

Fully attributable to multiple rejections slips from the great publishers of India. So instead of falling dead at the foot of the unclimbable mountain, I found a way around it.

 

Will we see a full-fledged novel from you in near future?

Very soon.

Before that though Garuda Prakashan will bring out translations in Hindi, work for which is under way!

 

How do you manage to write along with so many personal and professional responsibilities?

Writing to a deadline is the way to go I have found.  The ideas come when you have to finish the story. But the refining of it, the search for its soul needs silence, time and mulling.

I had to keep a writing schedule, a place at my desk, a few mantras and the bell off.

 

 

Do you think spirituality helps in writing and forming better stories?

This is a lovely question. Unexpected and very perceptive.

A story must have life. Be connected to what makes life pleasurable, livable or horrible.  I found that the asymmetry of life that I explore, the hurts and the hates that I end up writing about are manageable only with reference to a strong core inside me.

 

How did you write these 13 stories - based on your creativity or did you get some inspiration around you?

Many of them are based on a germ of a story from real life around me. Mumbai with its vertical living seals you off from your neighbor. At the same time leaves you to imagine what might be going on. It thus provides perfect material for a story, allowing the word to be linked to reality and yet flying free.

There is inspiration for stories all around you. In the lore of Jim Corbett or the sight of a leopard and a temple, or the hobo at the seaside. Dying of a parent. Grief at the state of sculpting. Anger at sneering articles on India…

If you want to write, the material is inexhaustible.

 

Which is your favorite story of all from this book?

I Fell in Love with a Tipsy Gypsy.

 

We saw in your bio on the book that you perform meditation twice a day. What kind of benefit or changes do you find in yourself since you begun this practice?

I admit that you cannot continue to do dhyan unless it overtakes you. So as one in the clutches of dhyan, I admit that it has deepened all that was good in me and is slowly erasing that which held me back.

 

Any words for other aspiring authors.

Yes. Write. Don’t copy. Dream. Want it so badly that you do it.  Find people who are like-minded. Read to them. Hear them read.

I don’t watch too much cinema. I don’t want too many packaged ideas and images. I think that helps.

Don’t copy style.

Refine.

Find a mentor who supports you and who can give you gyaan.

 

PURCHASE THE BOOK HERE

 

 

Sanskriti Singh: "Karna was not only a man who was wronged by circumstances but he was the only man in the entire epic that was fighting a war with each and every aspect of society" (Interview)

  

Recently, I read a very good book named “The Flawed Good Man” which was based on the life of Karna during the era of Mahabharat war. I was so happy to read a book based on our ancient history with philosophy being another crux to the writing. I tried knowing a little more about its author, Sanskriti Singh, and got to know that she’s 18 years old. At this age, in her teens, she managed to write about a character like Karna made me more curious about her which led to this interview which is for you to read and enjoy now.

 

Hi Sanskriti, I have seen that you write majorly on Indian history elements which few people term as mythology these days. Can you please tell us how your interest turned towards this subject?

When I was younger, I had a strong urge to know stories from the ancient Indian Culture. My mother would tell me stories from the epics all the time. Even during Navratri (which is a big affair in Shillong) I would usually go to Ramkrishna Mission and would insist upon buying those illustrated thin story books for children. It was like the more I heard these stories the more I wanted to know and when it comes to Indian culture we can all admit that it is a never-ending flow of beautiful stories and thoughts. I am a strong believer and a spiritual person. I cannot clearly tell as to when was the exact moment I realized how much the subject attracted me towards it but surely the childhood indulgence into this genre made me feel elated So yes I can obviously say that it was a childhood spent in the world of imagination and fantasy that made the love for this subject stronger and also all the time spent listening to stories from my mother. 

You are just 18 years old and you write books on complex characters from our ancient history. How do you find it easy to understand them as not even matured people are able to comprehend the shades behind their characters?
I think when you look around you find a little of every character in those epics somewhere in your surroundings. I have been a loner all along and that made me a very observant person over the years. I paid attention to what a person might be thinking when doing a particular action. The more you read you learn to understand the body language of a person and the psychology. 

It is a misinterpreted fact that it is difficult to understand these characters. People usually put these characters on a pedestal and criticize them but if you want to know them you have to treat them like you would treat a friend. Now that's not easy because you are never made to think like that.  And I would agree that reading made me feel those emotions more clearly. You need to hear your thoughts clearly to understand these characters and the easiest way to do so for me is to distance myself from people. I feel the more people you have the more corrupt your mind gets, they influence your thoughts. I do not like it at all; I like being left alone with my books and thoughts. The more you listen to your natural ideas the more clear these characters become. Every shade of these characters have to be accepted without judgement and you cannot have favourites in these stories you tend to overlook things when favouritism comes in between. 

Tell us something about your latest book - "The Flawed Good Man".

Oh! I can never explain what this book meant to me. The true motive behind writing this book for me was the never-ending news of suicides in and around the world. It's depressing how the numbers are growing. I wanted to write something that can help people understand that no problem can be bigger than the life we have been given. It is easy to kill yourself. It takes mere minutes to kill you but it takes courage to fight back. 

Karna had thousands of reasons to kill him but just one reason to live; his art. I wanted to not tell a story but try and make people realize that it is the most important to find that one reason to live. It is not easy but it cannot be impossible. A man of celestial birth could not escape all the wrongs that happened to him so how can we expect to have our path paved easily?! Karna was a man who never succumbed to the charms of splendour, a throne or power in that case even Narayan because he had his dignity and he knew that he was following his dharma even when he was standing against it. The book is about human emotions and it's pain and suffering and how it's okay to be venerable but that cannot become ones weakness rather make it into strength. I tried my best to bring out emotions of the character that I felt was ignored.

How of all the characters in Mahabharat did you think of picking Karna? 

Karna had a difficult life since he was a child and he faced the consequences of a misinterpreted culture. And for centuries our culture has been subject to such misinterpretation. Karna was not only a man who was wronged by circumstances but he was the only man in the entire epic that was fighting a war with each and every aspect of society. He was not only suffering trauma because the society was unfair to him but he was a symbol of the actual structure of the Indian society when it was first developed. Karnas life stands as an example for all that is wrong and surprisingly it's very relevant in today's world and will continue to be like that. Karnas character was perfect for me to touch the topics that I wanted to address in my second book. Karna is an embodiment of the idea of an ideal society that we want to build while he is also an example of the all the struggle that will go into the making of such a society. Karna was a character through whom I was able to present to people where we went wrong with our culture and how important it is to read and understand the Vedas ourselves than relying on some individuals to spoil it for us.

How difficult it was for you to sideline the character of Krishna as whenever we think of Mahabharat, his prominence and character is most talked no matter what?

Krishna I feel is a very charming character to read about apart from the fact that he is worshipped as well. It was not very difficult to put aside his character because there were rare instances when Karna or Krishna met. Though Krishna knew a lot about what Karna was facing we must also remember that Karna’s dream was to learn from the king of Dwarka but he couldn’t. You can never put apart any character when talking about the other as lives as we see in Mahabharat are intertwined with each other in strange patterns. You can stress over one character and that is what I tried to do. Since, I was dealing with Karna I tried to make sure it remained about him while not forgetting to reflect how others impacted his life. That became a little stressful sometimes because as you said that Krishna is prominent and the moment we talk about Mahabharat, Krishna becomes important. More than difficult it was stressful I would say because instead of Lord Krishna I had to stress over the brilliant Strategist Krishna. Other than a charming mediator Krishna was a very shrewd and complex politician of the epic war. You have to lay your plan well when dealing with such distinguished characters.  

Who are you more inclined towards- Lord Ram or Lord Krishna?

First of all I think both Lord Ram and Krishna are such beautiful characters so distinct from each other yet connected together strangely. I am a Bundela Rajput and my roots from Orchha gives me a unique sense of inclination towards Ram whom we most of the time address as Raja Ram than Lord Ram. Also, over the course of years my ancestors settled in Bhagalpur in Bihar not far away from Mithila made me understand the culture of Ramayan more than that of Mahabharat as a young girl. Orchha being the second Ayodhya of India has a strong cultural influence over the Bundela’s and Ram being the King there is always a strong sense of belongingness that connects me more to Ram ji. I admire Krishna very much though; clever, witty, intelligent, sharp and so-so shrewd that it might annoy you and also make you wonder.

Do you think Ramayan and Mahabharat are just stories or it really happened on our planet?

I do not think that these are mere stories. I am studying Archaeology and frankly speaking there might not be traces of so many people fighting a war or whatever reason people use to deny the existence of the characters I would like to rather say that we must remember that we had an oral culture. Most of the knowledge being translated orally we cannot be sure that facts were not exaggerated. You know human tendency is to exaggerate things and then these stories have been a part of our culture since a very long time. Now you know gossip is more reliable sometimes than documents. There is a clear possibility that the Shaunaks and Vachaks did make things larger than life but that does not end the possibility of truth behind these stories.

I really term these as History than mythology so yes I believe that these characters might have existed in the past sometime.

How easy or hard it is for you to embed philosophy between your storyline?
It is frustrating actually because if you want to reach to a larger mass you must simplify everything and then present it, in the course of doing that you tend to lose control over your own ideas sometimes. Also, I believe in keeping the language lucid so that even if a beginner is reading they will not have to struggle. Philosophy is something very difficult to simplify truly because the ideas come from a complex living culture older than any other culture in the world. Also, people sometimes do not want to hear these philosophies so it becomes a task to inculcate those little aspects of spirituality and philosophy in between the story. It even takes about a month sometimes to finish just one chapter what is again not thrilling. Imagine thinking about the same one line for over a month day and night. But the best part comes when I finally finish it; the satisfaction is beyond words of course.

Which are your favorite Indian authors who write in the same genre as you?

I love reading Kavita Kane mam’s books. She is a brilliant story teller. Amish Tripathi is again wonderful without debate; the originality of his ideas is beautiful. Not precisely mythology but the philosophy that comes from it is also beautifully explained by Osho.

What is the next book that you are working upon and how soon we can read it?

My next book is about a character from Ramayan, I am still working on it but I think I will soon complete it in about a month. I am not sure if I can reveal the name of the character right now but I can surely speak about the central idea.

I am basically trying to bring out the growth of Feminism in our Epics through the new character. Trying to explore the various shades of human character their change in behaviour in different circumstances and also how philosophy and power can be balanced with just how you are mentally.

I hope it comes out this year itself and is also loved by the readers.

Any words for your readers who love reading your book..

Nothing is more important to a writer than their readers. I can only thank each and every person who read the book and sent me their comments. I love reading what the readers think of my book and I can never thank anyone enough for all the responses I got. And every review I received made me realize where I can make things better and I can only try and make the next read better for all. “With not typos and mistakes to be precise” haha…

PURCHASE THE BOOK HERE

 

Thanks.

 

WRITING BUDDHA 

Annant Mittal: Enjoy the world of books and your life will always be magical (Interview)

 

Recently I read a book named “Wadiya Singh visits planet Sparkle” and everything about the book was cool such as its story, artwork, writing style, characters and narration. But something that surprised me more than that was the age of the author of the book, Annant Mittal, who is just 8 years old. Writing such a positive and motivating book at this age has been a wonderful fact which I don’t get to see often in my reading journey. This made me curious to know more about Annant and hence I sent him some questions for interview. I finally have the answer which I want to share with all my readers so that you can support him and read his beautiful book.

 

Hi Annant, how do you feel after becoming an author and publishing a book?

I’m extremely happy, excited and truly grateful. Now, I’m even more motivated to continue my journey in writing.

 

Since when are you writing?

I started writing short notes for my mother, on her birthday or as part of treasure hunt when I was about 5 years old. From then on, I started exploring writing short essays about how my day was and sometimes short rhyming poems. When I was about 7, I wrote a story about Wadiya Singh which my parents really appreciated and it became my first published work, ‘Wadiya Singh and the Incredible Sikander’. Since then, I’ve maintained a journal and often write my thoughts and ideas.

 

Do you remember the 1st piece that you had written? Can you share with us what it was related to?

The first proper essay that I wrote was about animals, specifically about a black racoon. His trials and his journey through the deep dark forest. I love happy endings so everything worked out great in the end. The fun part was writing about his difficult journey.

 

Tell us something about the inspiration behind what made you think and write about "Wadiya Singh visits planet Sparkle".

I had to write a short assignment on aliens at school. After writing it, I completely forgot about it and last year during the lockdown I found it while looking for something. That’s when I started building on it and included Wadiya Singh and eventually it lead to ‘Wadiya Singh visits Planet sparkle’.

How did you develop the character of "Zazoo"? Did you take any reference from movies or books or you imagined completely by yourself?

For me, Zazoo is an extension of who I am. Right from his hairstyle to his love for science and technology, he is everything I am and aspire to be. Since he is an alien from another planet, I wanted him to look different yet fun.

 

We saw that you have talked about caring for planet in your book. How do you try at your personal level to take care of the same?

In my house and at school, we are taught to be as eco-friendly as possible. For example, I don’t use plastic or foil paper at all. I try and recycle a lot, be it with paper or card boards. I don’t use the shower, instead use buckets. I use bamboo tooth brush, seed pencils, steel straws and segregate my waste. I also love growing plants at home.

 

What are you going to write in your next book? Can you please share with us?

Somethings should be a surprise. Don’t you think so?

Stay tuned…

 

Any message for the readers who are picking your book and enjoying the same?

Enjoy the world of books and your life will always be magical.

Most importantly, Stay Wadiya

PURCHASE THE BOOK HERE

 

Thanks.

 

WRITING BUDDHA 

Kapil Dabur: "We grew up watching Ramayana and Mahabharat and it still fascinates us when we watch it on television" (Author Interview)

Kapil Dabur recently released his book- "The Signet Ring" in a way that it talks about both - Mythology and Modern World. I read the book and found the story very intriguing which made me speak with the author and have this interview in place so that we can get a bit into his mind.

Today, the author is celebrating his 39th Birthday and we wish he keeps on writing such great stories for us which can make us aware about our God and the tale that we haven't still heard.

It's time for all of you to cherish the interview now...

Hi Kapil, can we know something about your background before getting into our questions on you becoming the author.

I was born in Ghaziabad. My Dad worked as an Engineer in PWD department with UP govt. I studied across cities as Dad got transferred every 2-3 years. I completed my Bachelors in Commerce and then went to IIM Bangalore for my MBA. I worked in Blue chip firms like Airtel, Reebok and Vodafone for almost 8 years before launching my first start-up. I ran it for about two years and then came back to Corporate world. I joined Home Lane and then moved to Arrivae. My wife Ruchi is an interior designer. We have a son, Aditya. 

So how did you get into writing.

It has its origins in my first Start-up. I was working as Retail head with Vodafone in Ahmedabad when I decided to launch my own Start-up in the Home improvement industry. Being a first-generation entrepreneur, it was a lot of struggle, hard work and learning on the job. I used to compare and contrast my daily experiences as an entrepreneur with the ones when I worked in the Corporate world. I decided to combine my experiences and those of a close friend of mine and wrote my first book, Unusual choices. That’s how it started.

Please let us know something about your book- The Signet Ring.

I was always fascinated with mythology. I used to read a lot about Greek mythology, the Greek gods, the way they are epitomized in numerous ways. I did some research on that and zeroed on Lord Hanuman. I studied lot of books, articles on the internet about these topics and simultaneously worked on my concept note. It took me about six months to do so. This book picks up the life and stories about Lord Hanuman, his devotion and relationship with Lord Rama and goes on to create a story line embedded in the present times.

How tough was it for you to learn about mythology, religion and epic tales to prepare for this book?

It was not difficult at all. We grew up watching Ramayana and Mahabharat and it still fascinates us when we watch it on television. I am an avid reader and I thoroughly enjoyed my research for this book.

How were you able to speak such an intriguing thrilling story within 170-odd pages as I believe it had potential for a much bigger novel?

I kept working on the core idea of the book till I could summarize it as succinctly as possible. I decided to include only the most relevant incidents, facts that fit in genuinely with the plot. I deliberately kept it a sub-200 pages novel.   

As per your belief and knowledge, who came first or who is bigger- Lord Vishnu or Lord Shiva?

I strongly believe that they are the same. Both of them are manifestations of the one supreme energy. Both epitomize different aspects of creation. Lord Vishnu is more about nurturing life and Lord Shiva is more about destroying the excesses that endanger life. 

Also, I would like to know from you- Ram believed in having relationship with just one woman whereas Krishna is believed to have married many women – can you please explain this theory to us?

Lord Rama wanted to symbolize ideal living that’s why he took oath to marry only once during his current avatar. This is why he married only Sita.  When it comes to Krishna, he had eight primary wives. All of them are the divine forms of Mahalaxmi, the primary consort of Lord Vishnu.   

What are you writing the next?

I am working on a mythological fiction. 

What would you like to say to the readers who have trusted in picking up your first book?

I would first like to thank them for appreciating my work.  I hope to surpass their expectations with my upcoming books.

 WRITING BUDDHA 

Neha Mehrotra: "I made peace with myself about my marital failure and still found strength to rise" (Interview)

I read Neha's book "How much is too much? : Divorce in India" during the lockdown phase and I was so moved about the subject of divorce and what women goes through during marriage and even during the process of divorce and post it that it made me ask her for an interview. She has given each and every answer as detailed as possible which shall help everyone going through this interview understand the complexity and seriousness of this topic. 

1.       Hi Neha, please do let us know how you landed up becoming a writer in the first place.

           My journey has been long and extremely difficult over last 2 decades. I realised I had so much to say and contribute, once I made peace with myself about my marital failure and still found strength to rise. I always wanted to tell my story, as I really felt it was a journey that tested every single semblance of my core being, so I started writing in 2016 but it was rather slow and painful. Also I was amazed to realise that marriage was supposed to just be a segment of one’s life but how impactful it really was in India. For the longest time, I felt my decision to leave and heal was highly stagnated due to the societal complications and had I not found the courage, I perhaps would not have survived this.

In 2018, I heard about demise of someone who was known to me, due to domestic violence & emotional trauma. She apparently committed suicide by jumping off her residence rooftop. Highly successful & independent, financially very well-off, extremely beautiful & a super strong woman - but she found jumping off a 4-storied building easier than taking a step towards separation or a divorce. Something about it shook me to reality that while I escaped a disastrous end, many might not. We women get to the edge and lose that belief that we can overcome bad marriages. We lose that hope that even if, things are not working out in our marriages/relationships, it is not the end of life. Often we don't know who to turn to for advice and for consolation that it would all be fine no matter how bad is the situation. We just need to look at this differently and find that courage to change our life’s course.

I decided to finish the book and touch some relevant topics, so even if I could save one life, it would serve its purpose. By stating my own experience, I am hoping to ease it out for those who fear the unexpected. I don't advocate divorces, I advocate choices that women can make and should.

2.       Please tell us something about your first book- “How much is too much? : Divorce in India”.

This book is a self-help guide to understand what to do when you feel stuck in a bad marriage or a relationship. This tells you about my personal experiences, mistakes made due to the inability to gauge my relationship and how I subsequently feared the consequences of initiating a separation/divorce once I realised that this wont bring me happiness ahead. The purpose of this book is to let women feel comforted by the thought that just incase they have similar situations but fear uncertainty, this was how my journey panned out. While it was painful and depressing initially, I did overcome it and it is possible to find happiness by everyone again. I would like all those women who feel hopelessness, despair and no reason to go on - to find solace  in the thought of re-starting their lives. The focus of the book is to highlight the social stigmas in our society, families influence & personal dilemmas and how it often becomes deterrent for seeking a step towards finding the lives we all deserve. Marital failure is a sheer regressive taboo and should not be given more importance than required. This book highly advocates the fact that a separation or a divorce is not a woman’s identity - it is just a mistake & life needs to continue!

3.       How easy or difficult was writing this book as it’s based on your own experiences?

It wasn't easy as there were lots of moments where I had to revisit and go back to relive the painful times. Most memories that were buried deep, had to be remembered and articulated rightly. Often I felt anger and deep pangs of pain which came from all that I had to revive in my head. Had to separate my own personal issues and be non-judgemental while explaining what was the purpose of this book with complete clarity. The story was largely mine but several other relationships were observed, so I could get a wider perspective on what a woman goes through in depth. I came to realise that despite varied reasons, the primary dilemma in most women’s head and subsequent societal stigma were largely similar. It was not a great feeling to realise that, having experienced it first-hand. But the satisfaction I feel now, knowing I survived it all and perhaps many others would also find their grounds, is amazing to say the least.

      4. How do you think will this book help the Indian women and girls?

Indian women & girls need to be vigilant about their own happiness more than ever before! They need to be a bit selfish and think about their own lives more practically now.  We need to talk about topics like these more often and educate our children about how to differentiate between bad and worse in relationships. Abuse, violence, trauma etc needs to be identified in time and our daughters should know that they should not loathing in self-pity & despair. Not make kids/family shame/financial instability an excuse instead not fear society by striving for self-esteem & respect.

The purpose of this book largely is to make countless young girls and women aware about my journey and few other of those observed around me. There are lots of mistakes I made, signs I ignored and learnings that I overlooked. Indian women need to understand that they are as important as the men in the relationship. There has to be undisputed equality on all matters for both the man & the woman. Our perspectives need to change now with changing times. These women need to know that should a reason arise, they have a choice that they can make and re-attempt getting their lives no matter the situation. There is NO reason to feel suffocated and live on like Indian women have been since centuries. Crudely put - no relationship or shame is worth your life & self-respect!

  5. How difficult was getting this book published as it has a topic which is quite impactful

It was pretty difficult as earlier I tried hard to go the conventional way of finding a publishing house that would accept my draft. I did approach many leading ones however all turned it down citing some or the other reason. Few didn't do self-help genre and others wanted me to turn it into some masala fiction but I wanted the narrative to remain as is and decided to self-publish this. I am glad it is impactful as someone has to question these relevant topics. Women are not the quieter sex, they just are ones with more endurance however, when the line is breached, we need to take matters in our own hands and go against these regressive stigmas. For the longest time, women stayed in bad marriages due to varied reasons  to prove that we could make relationships last no matter the price we paid, but I see no reason why this should continue ahead.

   6. Do you think that Marriage as an Institution shall survive in India after a decade or so?

It might survive in the eyes of the society but it already is dying in the minds of many. Most marriages feel like total pity, which have eroded the essence of monogamy  & commitments altogether. Wives don't know what their husbands are doing or thinking and men are oblivious to the real needs of their own partners. However, both continue putting best pretentious faces for the sake of the society, family and kids. It is rare to find real relationships now where both want to really make each other happy. Abuse is rampant as frustrations grow and both feel trapped. What is the point of all of this? Why cant one focus on being happy than on remaining married? As mentioned in my book, maybe an annual contract or larger acceptance to live-ins would be the turning curve ahead. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of being married even now, but my point is it should work for you, else know it that you have a way out. There isn't any reason to end life or live a robotic life ahead.

  7. What is your view on Indian parents in terms of Marriage as many youngsters now doesn’t want to get married but get into the bond due to family pressure and later on, face consequences of the same?

There is an entire chapter dedicated to this unnecessary pressure in my book. Parents need to understand that this isn't the question of their upbringing, culture or how well they know their child. When one is cornered, even a saint would react, so why get into that forced situation? You have educated your child, bought him/her up with so much love & care, why push them into complications of a marriage which they have to drag life-long just because you want to see them ‘settled’? Let them be free to make their choices and mistakes. Be there for them but please don't live their lives for them. Guide them by all means but don't think you can decide if they can pull a relationship ahead all their lives.  If they can choose a wrong career, they can also make a mistake of choosing a wrong partner. If so, just support them but dont make such big deal about it that they fear their decisions. So, yes I am strongly against the idea.

  8. Tell us something about the work that you do as we found some great content on your Instagram page.

I am a destination wedding planner & stylist and run a company called Foreign Wedding Planners since last 12 years now. You can view my work on foreignweddingplanners.in on Instagram. My passion-turned-profession is a symbol of my strength and perseverance and I absolutely love it. It was the biggest reason which helped me regain my financial stability when I had to move out. Ironically I create happy memories for all those who want to celebrate love. Initially I was worried about my own doomed marital life, considering I was a wedding planner myself, but later I realised that there is a huge difference in marriages and weddings! While, I take care of the latter, the former is highly personal and subjective. To each his own.

  9. Tell us something about your next book?

Haven't planned ahead yet but do want to explore the complications which is faced between a couple. There are so many shades of grey that need to be understood and talked about which stems from centuries of conditioning for either sexes apart from the genetic compounding which at most times doesn't help. Basically, I want to write about the difference between a man and woman as individuals and then as ones who want to co-exist in an harmonious relationship. As of now in my head, this seems like an oxymoron for majority. :)

10. In the end, what is your message for Indian husbands and wives?

Look around you!

‘During this lockdown, domestic abuse in India has doubled.’- Outlook  (7th April 2020).

There is a reason for this! Stifling, suffocating relationships where couples hid behind mundane everyday routines & professional commitments suddenly vanished. Having long lost the love and respect for each other, they now find it difficult to live under the same roof and co-exist. This is a blatant proof that there are many families like yours and mine, who might appear happy on surface but internally the women are suffering miserably. They think they are being brave by enduring abuse but someday they would crumble. Their entire lives would pass by and they would never know what they could have opted for instead.

Marriage or a relationship is not only a celebration of a strong passion, love and desire that you first feel for each other. That is just the initial & less-lasting part. It is more of the understanding of the differences you share, the habits you dislike and all the reasons which you eventually realise and know you would not ideally want in your partners. It is about the emotions you then have to contribute keeping in mind that let the reason be both your happiness rather than just your own. I have always advocated that the strength of a relationship isn't how you love each other but more of how you fight & makeup.

Both men and women should get into a commitment with an absolute clear understanding that equality in all aspects will be maintained at all times and both parties are entitled to mental, physical and emotional happiness. If not, end it gracefully rather than make it torturous and dragging the corpse. Mistakes happen but then either sort it out or move on - there is NO middle ground without repercussions and a possible vicious cycle.