Empowering you beyond Birthing by Mahima Bakshi (Book Review: 3.5*/5) !!!

  

20^th Book of 2022

 

There are few authors who write continuously on a single topic for a vision that they have in their mind for bringing a change in society. Writing books on the subject is their mission towards fulfilling their vision. One such author who’s on a mission is Mahima Bakshi. Her 1^st book was “Birthing Naturally” which spoke about how a mother should take care of themselves so that they can be as fit as possible when it’s finally time for their baby to arrive. Just after that, she has now released a 131-pages short book with Rupa publications named “Empowering you beyond Birthing”. I got chance to read this one which is a guide for new parents on postnatal well-being and equal parenting.

 

The book is very short which’ll make it easy for parents to go through it quickly and mark important points relevant to them. Mahima has further divided the book into 18 different chapters to give ample focus to the specific point she wishes to talk and elaborate about. Our generation has been quite cut-off from all the Ayurveda and ancient methods that was nicely adopted by our grandparents leading to which the situation has become so grim that many couples are not even wanting to have baby as they don’t know how will they go through the initial days post-pregnancy. Some of them are so nervous that they keep on postponing the pregnancy as they don’t know how they’ll handle their lifestyle, daily routine, weekend mastis and baby – all at the same time. Such books are crucial for parents running short of time due to plenty of workload and yet getting suggestions on how to plan expansion of their family.

 

The book resolves to clear doubts and concerns of new parents and in most chapters, Dr. Bakshi is successful in her goal. She has not only spoken on high-level topics but granular and minute level details too. Her research work and social interest towards ensuring better execution from parents on family planning is evident in her writing approach right from the first page. I liked those letters she has written to mother, father and at times, to both the parents after every chapter. It talks directly with you which makes you feel author’s words strongly. Mahima covers the aspects right from hospitalization to breastfeeding to post-partum depression to handling your child to finally getting back to your romantic sexual life with your partner.

 

Author focuses on the need of equal parenting. Just as gender equality has become a thing, Bakshi regularly wants us to understand that equal parenting is also needed for the couple to ensure none of them gets into an overwhelming or depressive situation. Though I felt Mahima talking more on behalf of mothers which is quite obvious but I felt personally that there are lot of points which could have been covered from fathers’ perspective too. I’ll talks about this later in the review. Anyway, her intentions are clear where she doesn’t want mother to lose her individuality because of having a baby whereas father continuing living the same life as before without realizing that it’s his equal responsibility too.

 

I liked the practical approach of the author where she discusses mothers to call either their mother or mother-in-law to stay with them in initial days to make the job easier for them. Author also explains why gap is needed between the 1^st and 2^nd pregnancy to ensure that the mother is completely ready for it rather than getting into the same sleepless routine again. Mahima also talks about the body care needed for mother and how to initiate or resume workouts gradually in order to lose their weight and get back to their previous shape without getting depressive about it. I am glad author speaks about post-partum depression – something many people don’t realize that a woman goes through.

 

Now talking about the drawbacks, I must say – there are many points which author could have added with detailing of exercises, recipes, diets etc. to be followed in this case. Also, book could have included how to cope up with the cases where mother loses child during operation etc. as it’s something which has majorly impacted many women. As the book focuses on equal parenting, I also wished if Mahima could have made women, specifically, understand why fighting for child custody in case of divorce by not letting father meet their child even once is cruelly damaging for the child’s mental health. Like, she has mentioned tips specifically for men multiple times, this serious issue should have also been explained to the mother in the book – prominently in a dedicated chapter.

 

From father’s perspective, how he also goes through several mental issues could have been discussed. A father starts doubting his ability to take care of his child due to financial issues or career stagnancy at times. They also start getting worried about family’s future as sometimes, mother takes decision of not working forever after holding their child for the first time emotionally. Men also starts getting irritated due to reduction in their sex life, being sleep-deprived yet attending office the next day and coming back home to handle mood-swings and depression of their wife. Such important issues should have also been included to make this book an equal guide for both – men and women. Currently, it majorly speaks from mother’s behalf – fathers might not get answer of many things they wished to know.

 

Overall, this is a book written with good intention and it can serve you well in your pregnancy and post-pregnancy days. It will be helpful in resolving most of your concerns. I give this book 3.5 stars out of 5. Please have it if you are planning for a baby; or gift it to someone you know is pregnant or already handling a new born baby. They will never forget this gift from you.

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Thanks!

 

WRITING BUDDHA 

Fast But Lost by Dr. Pallavi Joshi (Book Review: 5*/5) !!!

  

19^th Book of 2022

 

I have always been interested towards living an urban lifestyle. I remember how madly I wanted to be in a metro city when I was residing very well in a 2^nd tier city which wasn’t much less than a metro city. Only after shifting to this competitive and fast lifestyle where if you don’t keep on progressing, you find yourself largely behind than all your friends and peers which starts affecting your personal as well as social life. Hence, I always love watching movies or reading books based on characters who are surviving with their up and down emotions in an urban setup. The same interest made me pick up this book of around 215 pages named “Fast but Lost” written by Dr. Pallavi Joshi. It also has the tagline which says “Overcoming depression in city life”.

 

To start with, I must say that the cover page of the book is very beautiful and specific to the topic. If not the title of the book, at least the cover page will surely make the readers give it a chance while roaming around in bookstores. Writing an all-and-all non-fiction book based on depression is a very scary and gutsy choice because we have so many psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, doctors and even people like actors and social media influencers guiding us on this issue. It can become very challenging for the author to write without thinking about what would people say about her treatment and overcoming methodologies.

 

This book is an answer for every question you had about your anxiety, stress, depression, suicide and every related thought. It is a very well-planned book which speaks of every point in a very structured manner. Author ensures that you don’t get lost in big terminologies hence keeps the book simple without making it sound overwhelming to the reader even once. There were times when I cried or wept while reading few sections as it talked about emotions or moments I had gone through in my life and in few scenarios, I am literally going through them currently. Pallavi has ensured that she doesn’t miss even a single reason or trigger that causes depression so that any of us who pick the book find something for us in it. I am telling you covering all these aspects is not an easy task at all as it deals with various kinds of human emotions.

 

Joshi has nicely made us understand the most asked questions about difference between psychologist, psychiatrist, counselor and therapist as well as sadness, stress and depression very appropriately. Similarly, she has busted many myths related to depression in initial chapters itself which helps us clean our mind and learn everything she tells with an open mind. She also elaborates upon symptoms of depression that is surely going to make it easier for you to understand the type of depression you are going through. I really got emotional every time I read any section based upon patient’s case studies. I am glad author put it all so well.

 

My personal favorite has been the 4^th chapter where author mentions each and every aspect which can cause us depression along with explanation, case study, solutions and when to go to a psychiatrist. Some of the discussed aspects are as follows: break-up, marital discord, infidelity, death of a loved one, exam stress, parenting, elderly care, job loss, infertility problems, diagnosis of terminal illness, sexual orientation etc. Dr. Pallavi has also made us go through the very popular talk therapy called CBT and the connection between situation, thoughts and reactions. She also explains other therapies as well. Author talks elaborately about suicide which was very necessary to be discussed. I was quite surprised to know that even suicide has its types. I am glad author has written this chapter as it has many information which can help you get away from suicidal tendencies and also make you equipped to help others going through the same feelings.

 

The book closes with the chapter on how lockdown and Covid scenarios made a great impact on people’s mental health. Author summarized the whole two years in few words but it was enough to trigger the emotions as each one of us have gone through this phase. Overall, I must say this is one of the most perfect self-help books I have ever read. I will recommend this to everyone. Please don’t let yourself feel alone. This book is going to be your first savior in the crisis. And yes, not only for the people from urban lifestyle, this book can be read by anyone residing anywhere doing anything and going through anxiety, stress, sorrow or depression. I give this book a perfect 5 out of 5 stars. I am just mesmerized and I would like to show my gratitude towards Dr. Pallavi Joshi for attempting this.

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Thanks!

 

WRITING BUDDHA 

Teen Machine by Ishita Agarwal (Book Review: 3.75*/5) !!!

 

18^th Book of 2022

Though I am in my early 30s but I feel that I am mentally in the same zone as I was in my late teen years. The number of challenges and anxiety I went through those years have still stayed with me and I believe it will stay till the last breath. Hence, whenever I find someone speaking or writing about their experiences of 11^th-12^th std where other students are giving their best with complete focus and we are going through dilemma about what should be chosen for the future, I just sit and listen to these people. I am someone who failed 11^th standard twice and couldn’t pass it at all. I finally did my 12^th privately without any college. Well, that’s the reason Ishita Agarwal’s new book “Teen Machine” attracted me.

 

The book is published by Rupa Publications in around 265-odd pages. The title of the book itself says so much. It reflects how teenagers have been conditioned to be less humane but more like machine – where they have to sit for competitive exams one after another with an expectation of not failing even once in their life. For parents, it is quite normal to make their child go through this process because they wish a good future for them. Unfortunately, for children/students, this becomes a traumatic and self-destructive process where they lose themselves on daily basis in this ultra-competitive and machinery world. Ishita has tried to reflect on what goes behind the Indian child’s brain who has to go through so much in the age when they should also be chilling a bit and figuring out things themselves.  

 

Through the character of Avani, author has ensured that we can relate to the pain and struggle of a girl who has been good in her school days but finds this whole environment and set-up of 11^th std quite challenging and out-of-the-world. She is unable to identify with the same classmates who were with her until 10^th std. Everyone’s stance has changed and she has to adapt to this new culture where classmates are only talking about studies, doubts, exams and results whereas she wants to gel with others on human level.

 

Ishita has given significance to the fact how it hits you first when you realize you won’t be going to school anymore but the coaching classes are going to be your new home. She tells how even after the long-running coaching, students are expected to invest minimum 6 hours of self-study daily. Even the group they chose needs to be a study group among whom doubts and studies can be discussed. Author also focuses on the hormonal changes that happens during this age when you start liking someone and get infatuated. Though I am glad that author didn’t insert too much love-angle and cheesy conversations in the story. She limited this angle quite intelligently to not make this a chick-lit stuff.

 

How parents become judgmental towards their children during this phase is nicely portrayed through Avani as well as Avik’s character. I liked how Ishita also showed the behavioral changes of both- mother and father where the loving one takes up a hunter well as an aggressive parent becomes caring during this phase. Ishita focuses on how academic results start showing up when a child removes all the negative opinions, thoughts and inferiority complex away and only focuses on self-improvement and stop lying to themselves about their investment in studies and towards their goal.

 

The characterizations done in this story is perfect as you could relate with each of them. The depth shown with Avani’s character is also commendable as you get to understand her internal thoughts as well as her external actions during any scenario. The narration is simple which makes it easy for you to finish this book within one or two sittings. I liked the climax of the book as it tells you a lot about life in particular which is so true at any age. The only drawback that I could sense while reading this book is keeping the character’s challenges only towards academic. This is the age when children also get distracted by several other things which becomes a hindrance towards studies – which I believe should have been included – if not with protagonist, then with any other character in the story. I felt the plot to be too straight-forward and linear.

 

Overall, this is a book which needs to be read by children after their 9^th std so that they understand how to channelize their emotions to get the academic results as well as maintaining mental peace. Also, this is as much effective for parents in order to understand how to mould their child with love rather than judgments. I give this book 3.75 stars out of 5.

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Thanks! 

 

WRITING BUDDHA